I have always enjoyed collecting maxims, those short and sometimes clever sayings that often sound trite. You know, adages like “There’s no time like the present to do a thoughtful deed”. I think I inherited it from my mother, along with her naturally curly hair, sticky-out front teeth and love of dancing.

When I was a little girl, my father would say, “You’re just like your Mother”. Frankly, I couldn’t see it, but (like my mother), I didn’t say anything. As I got older, I decided that it was not a bad thing, being like my mother. We looked alike: she was short and always carried a few extra pounds, and I am not-tall and have successfully avoided any look of anorexia. Everyone liked her, and I wanted everyone to like me. She was friendly and went out of her way to be nice to people.

That’s what concerned me about the comparison. It seemed to me that she was always letting people take advantage of her. She didn’t take up for herself; she was not an assertive woman. So, I spent much of my life trying to prove that I could be assertive. Sometimes, I was so assertive, I was downright aggressive. Most people avoid aggressive women.

One day I asked her if she felt people were taking advantage of her; she replied, “No.” She told me that “life is lonely without people” and that we all need to “help and love one another.” So those simple words of wisdom were added to my collection; I try to remember them each day. I believe this might be a better world if more people were like my mother.

12/12/98 jrf
 

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