In this life, one thing we can be certain of is
that not only is it not always about us, it's
actually very rarely about us. It's about
"them" - our friends, our community, our region,
our country and the world around us. We cannot
function by ourselves, and we cannot succeed
without the support of others. Likewise, they
cannot succeed without us. Here are some ideas
to help you get involved in the great communal
effort to make the world a better place for
everyone.
1. Volunteering is by far the best way to "keep
your hand in." Not only are you doing
necessary and important work for whatever cause
you support, but you are also creating and
strengthening those social ties that are most
important to each of us in times of need. It is
true that you cannot pull another up without
first joining hands - and this joining, once
created, is almost impossible to break. By
throwing your weight into the communal pull
toward a better life, you join yourself to those
around you in ways that will pay you back a
hundred-fold in the years ahead.
2. Set up a tithe to contribute 10% of your
earnings to the community, church or cause that
you support, or create a tithe checking account
from which to afford random acts of kindness
wherever you see the need. It is only by
giving that we realize how much we had to give
(and thereby learn the true extent of our
blessings) and it is by giving that we weave the
thread of loving kindness into the fabric of our
reality - a weaving that remains long after the
gift has been spent.
3. Get a pet or volunteer to work in a shelter
or rescue center. It's hard to stay down
when you're caring for an animal, and the
responsibility trains the mind and soul for
greater works. Plus, more often than not, the
love given to us from the animals we care for
far outweighs what we could ever hope to return
and far exceeds what our "mere human" companions
can offer us as well.
4. Join or create a support team with your
friends or even with total strangers. Get
together to share issues and troubles and to
support one another through a welcoming arm, a
non-judgmental attitude and a listening ear.
Celebrate wins and succor losses. Learn who
needs what and in what manner and leave behind
your tendency to hold back or turn away from
strong emotion. Life is intense, if you do it
right, and staying in that space in a time of
need is the hallmark of a true friend and
companion.
5. On a regular basis, make it a point to do
something truly nice and unexpected for a
friend, colleague or family member without
letting them know who did it. Have a
favorite lunch delivered to their desk, send
them a bouquet of flowers, record their favorite
shows while they're out of town on business or
working late on a tight deadline, wash their
car, buy them a small gift - whatever strikes
your fancy. If you can't resist, you can arrange
to be there when they discover their gift - but
you'd better be a good actor, because it's hard
to hide the big grin of a great treat pulled off
perfectly.
Including others in our lives and activities
helps us build the strong bones and muscles of
deep and long-lasting relationships, personal
and communal. Learn to look for
opportunities to do for others and you will find
your own universe getting to be a happier and
less stressful place to reside.